let’s not even pretend there’s something worse than your mom passing you the phone for you to wish happy birthday to a relative
hey i heard u like bad boys, i dont mean to brag or anything but im really really bad. at everything.
i ain’t no athlete but i’d sprint down that happy trail
"this tastes like shit"
"how do you know what shit tastes like"
giant trucks with confederate flags because nothing says “happy Fourth of July” like white supremacy
*checks twitter* *checks tumblr* *checks vine* *checks instagram* *checks facebook* *checks text messages* *checks myself* *wrecks myself*